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Ajahn Brahm

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Waiting for the next best thing is putting off your happiness until the future
Have happiness now

Being in the present moment
with an inclination towards kindness and peace

Contentment with the present moment
when what is happening right now is enough

gratitude and contentment

only through your own acts of kindness will show you the happiness it brings you

it's good enough - there is nothing more to do
it goes towards peace it goes towards letting go
it brings you back to the present moment

don't stay in the past reliving the things that made you angry
anger is a waste of time
spilled milk that can't go back in the bottle
the benefit of the doubt
waste of time because it doesn't lead to peace

the object of the ill will, whoever triggered it is not around
so who gets it - the people around you

don't focus on the trigger of the ill will focus on the body
what is happening in the body
find it and relax it

the future is made from the present moment
if you're happy relaxed in the present moment
you will  learn how to let it be

what ever comes comes
I will allow you to be
stay as long as you want

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Attachment

Stuff - personal possessions
The stuff owns us

You can use these things but don't think that you own them

How can we enjoy things and people 
Give up ownership

Being with someone when they die
Really teaches about attachment and letting go

You know the concert is going to end
Enjoy it to the max - it's not gonna last 

Enjoy without being attached
Don't feel sad - feel enriched

Set them free
Don't stop them from their journey
because you don't want them to go

Enjoying without attachment
Loving without attachment

If you fight and say you don't want them to go
you are hurting them
as well as yourself

Be enriched without being attached

Can get attached to our personality
Too afraid to let it go
would have to reform ourselves and be someone new

I don't plan because I let the future unfold
can't predict the future
so you can enjoy life so much more cause you get into interesting things
I don't know what is going to happen
cause you can't predict the future
I am adaptable 

If you think you know yourself - you're dead
If you think you know your partner - 

If you're attached to the old you can't see the present
Do not be attached to your own self - always changing
Challenging
Discovering
Seeing new things

Going 
letting old stuff go
learning new stuff

The fear of the future can cause the attachment

From the very beginning we know it is going to end
Expect it


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Dealing with Emotions

rarely do people talk about their positive emotions - always complaining about the negative.

those emotions are real
but where do they come from?

by speaking slowly and softly you can calm people down

don't lose perspective - look for the bigger picture
calm the emotions down - don't build them up

grief can be created - 'oh you poor thing' - a social trigger

social conditioning creates these emotions

allowing the anger to start and then continue - so you relive it again and again
if you catch it when it is just a spark you can put it out.

Catch negative emotions early
Easier to transcend past anger, grief

There are signs of the emotions rising
but we are so distracted by the needs of the moment
created by unskillful thought patterns
build up the negativity till we finally notice the huge fire

trace the emotion back
why do you feel like this?
why do you feel that?
and where does that come from?
and that?
then?

conditioned by fear
                       anger
                       anxiety

you don't cry for the other person - you cry for yourself
what good does grief do?
it doesn't help the person who has died
it doesn't help you
they would not want you to be unhappy

what good does anger do
shouting at them doesn't make the anger go away
the anger just makes themselves and others upset

the 2nd factor of the 8 fold truth
intention
attitude
letting go - let go of the person inside who is controlling the emotions - if you're fed up and you're sick of being fed up, you're suffering double
I'm so sad about being sad about grieving - this is adding negativity to already negative emotions, just building them up
Be honest to the fear - it's just part of life - be honest to the emotion - when you accept the emotion it disappears - when we try to control, we are just feeding them
be compassionate to the emotions that exist in your mental landscape - don't tell yourself that you shouldn't feel this
face the moment and respect the emotion. allow them to be - make peace and be kind. the tightness of the emotion can start to unravel.
when you think they shouldn't be there - when you fight they get bigger
This Too Will Pass
kindness
gentleness

Don't use the fault-finding mind - find the gratitude mind
generate the positive emotions
Respect
media and conversations cultivate negative emotions

people get upset with their partners or themselves
cause they repeat the negatives
deliberately look for something in partners, ourselves, life to build up the positive emotions in life

generate beautiful emotions
compassion is a positive emotion

in meditation
understanding of the emotional road
suspend your intellectual thinking and
feel your way to the path of peace
so gentle to every breath
accepting
no fault finding

more familiarity with emotional sensitivity
mindfulness is being deeper
accepting the power of a still mind

respect every moment
your heart is growing when it is hurt
allow it to be
and you'll find out why it was there for you
you are disappointed
but it tells you how your expectations are far too high
they are all teachers
grow and make the positive emotions stronger
don't get afraid
              angry
              grief
grow the positive emotions
understand where they come from, nurture and grow them
kindness
inspiration

understand the negative emotions
propagate the positive

anybody who criticizes someone else you are showing that your own understanding of life is lacking

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Expanding Your Views

The Distortions of the Cognitive Process
The whipolasas
When there is one viewpoint a framework of understanding
it is the nature of our mind to interpret everything in terms of those beliefs
our beliefs which select the information that comes into our minds and bends it accordingly and from that information into our perception
Perceptions that we have are not true. They are not real. They are all bent to suit our views.
and because of those perceptions - we take to be reality - and that's what causes our thinking
as we perceive the world we think and our thinking justifies  our views
a whole cycle of delusion goes on
from our view we proceed accordingly
and from our perceptions that's where we think
and our thoughts are like the bricks that builds our belief systems

if you believe it
your perceptions are formed

only the perceptions that justify your beliefs are allowed in
everything else doesn't even appear in your mind

Food - a relateable example, favorite foods are different
influenced by conditioning

we start with a view and we only allow perceptions that agree with that view
we think accordingly
it justifies our view
we think we are right

self contained system that justifies itself

recalibrate views
views create other perceptions and
perceptions create other thoughts
thoughts that are much more positive and create greater happiness in life

there is not one view that is better than another
there is just one view that creates more happiness
it is more positive
more peace of mind than other views

not which one is right
but which one creates more peace and happiness in this world

you can change the way you look at life
changes your views
once your view change 
your perception changes

perceptions on disappointments change
if you have the view that you are in control you take it personally when things go wrong
you cause pain and suffering for yourself and others
causing you to think in a negative way
lose your self esteem, get guilty, get negative

if you could change our view point to question if we really made a mistake, was it really our fault, could you really have done anything else in the circumstances.

understand why and the judgement disappears 

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Clinging and Possession

Humans suffer at the thought of pain
- maybe that event will never come
- we suffer twice from the thought and then the event

We misunderstand our reality

Cause of dissatisfaction or anxiety
- is wanting more
- wanting things to stay as they are
- clinging to what cannot be held on to

Make an adjustment in the way we percieve things or ourselves

We want the wourld to be how we want it to be and stay that way 
- It's not going to

The would rotates around possessions
- My body
- My house
- My money
- My spouse

Your mind conjures up the universe
Give up the idea of - my body
- hair falls off, excrement, fingernails - we don't claim those anymore

Theft or loss only exists in the mind of possessions

Become aware of it and learn
See what is important in life

We, not monks, have a better chance of learning 
- more opportunities
- challenged everyday
- those experiences are our teachers 

We don't understand what we are
- So we do not behave in accordance with what we are
- So we do not practice a way to help us to understand what we are
- So we do not understand what we are

Sense of self
- Takes hold clings on tightly and clings some more

Even people who are not thought of as selfish still cling to a sense of self

Let go of
I
me
mine
not you
not yours
not theirs

The sense of being myself that needs to be protected and built up manifests itself in my constantly attaching to the things that serve those two purposes
- consistently finding conformation in our beliefs and ignoring anything contrary

Excluding or rejecting anything that hinders or undermines those things that I am clinging to

When the sense of self is threatened there will be a reaction

Peace is possible but we first have to understand what we are and then we can move on.

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Let Go

Is it heavy?
- Only when you hold it
Let it go

Whenever you think about life you are missing it
- lost in thoughts

Talking about a thing focuses on the words
which are formed by thoughts 
that you have influencedby who you are talking to

Don't keep the past or the future 
Let it go

As soon as you want to be here you'll be free
- This is called contentment
The only difference is your attitude

If you want to be here you are free

Giving with expecting nothing in return

Expectations are thwarted and it makes us irritated
- Don't allow the past to influence the present moment


Never allow knowledge to stand in the way of truth

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Being angry really messes up the moment

Realizing what it does to you becomes a personal problem. You have to understand the "why" you get angry.

Knowing what these things really are
Knowing the cause

Arises from a lack of contentment

When people get angry at me
it's not of because what I do
but because of how they feel

stop trying to justify what is unfair
"what did I do to deserve this?"