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Esther Perel

Conformation Bias Organize reality gives order a sense that I know what's true and even if what true sucks still prefer to think that that is what's true because at least it organizes my reality Don't think that you can set the standards for what it is worth getting upset about Don't waste time convincing that shouldn't be upset - already is Simply say - I totally know you hate this No justifications No explanations Give space for their anger Say sorry Can't promise it won't happen again Understand that they think it means (some reality that would be untrue in my thoughts) and let them have the space and stay connected Never - always pseudo-factual talk Becomes factual as if it is really the case but is really an intensification of someone's experience Say instead - It feels like you (whatever they do) Don't think your experience is the reality or the truth It is the truth of your experience but not necessarily the truth of wh